Make the Effort for the Holidays

I always went home for the holidays.  I never missed a holiday with my mom and dad in my entire life.  It didn't matter if I lived 2 hours away in Morgantown, West Virginia (college), 5 hours away in Northern Virginia, or 9 hours away in Georgia.  I took PTO and made the trip, most of the time by car and sometimes by plane.  It became really easy once I lived 20 minutes away, which I have for the last 5 years.  I am glad I made the effort to travel even when road and weather conditions were not great and traffic added many more hours to my journey.

It wasn't always easy to get away but I made time for it, even if it meant that I'd be on call or have to work a lot while I was there.  It meant a lot for me to be there, especially being an only child. It was a tradition to make the trip and be home.

There was something special and comforting about "going home", especially to western Pennsylvania - the place where I grew up and to the house on Plank Road that holds many memories.  I reconnected with friends and visited some of my favorite spots.  Having food that I could only get in western PA was always fun.  Coney Island hot dogs and cheddar chili fries were a must.  Home was where I could relax, watch movies, and play with my dog.

Over time, my parents moved, and I still went to their house for holidays.  Regardless of the house and location, my mom would always ask me what I wanted to eat on the night I arrived at home.  Paninis, pasta and meatballs, and homemade pizza would top my list of requests.  Can you tell I love Italian food? 

I am so glad I never missed a holiday.  I knew one day, things would be different and people would be missing from the dinner table, as they are now.  I am grateful that I could always make it home for the holidays, given my job requirements and travel challenges.

Last year was the first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mom.  I knew it was going to be hard, and I wasn't sure what to expect.  How would I feel?  Would I feel better being around people or not?  How I would get through it?  Because of this, I didn’t plan much.

I remember having lunch with my colleagues from work around the holidays last year and everyone was taking their turn talking about their plans.  Most of the conversations were complaints about mother-in-laws or other relatives.  There was disagreement about who was cooking, who would be there, where visitors would stay, and where holiday gatherings would be held.  There were factors such as kids, space, and travel and most of the issues were around inconveniences.  I just sat and listened and wished those were my worries and problems.   When I was finally asked how I was spending the holidays, I awkwardly mentioned that it would be a quiet holiday for me. And the conversation ended.

This year is not going to be a normal holiday season.  We all know this.  Gatherings and certain traditions might not happen and if they do, they might not be as grand. We can all do what we can to keep traditions alive but now is the time to start thinking through all of those activities and events that we normally participate in. If there is a good chance these events are not happening this year, what else can be planned? Make the effort now to plan for this so disappointment doesn’t take over. This is the year to be creative and find ways to enjoy the holidays while still being safe and responsible.

If in person gatherings aren’t possible, make sure to send a card or make time for a call. Eat turkey over Zoom. Make a socially-distant visit to a nearby relative’s front porch. Send flowers. Make the effort to reach out to family and friends. Many need this more than ever.

Let’s not get frustrated or down because of all we can’t do. Let’s focus on what we can do and how we can creatively spend the holidays. And when we get beyond this COVID-19 era, make the effort to spend the holidays with those who mean the most.